Finally Returned to my Blog!

It's been quite a while since I've posted on this blog. 2008? Yeah it is now 2012. Where has the time gone? Well now I'm out of high school, graduated, and now in college. I live in the dorms at CSU Pueblo. I like it down here but I definitely miss my friends and family back home. Being three hours away is hard at times. I wish I could go home all the time! I think the reason why is because I feel very alone most days. I have a boyfriend whom I've been dating for almost 8 months now. We recently broke up for about four days but then got back in the relationship. He definitely makes me happy for the most part but we are supposed to be working on our differences to make things better for the both of us. I will admit, this is the first time I have ever loved the opposite sex. Like I have said before, I didn't have good luck in relationships in general. I just honestly feel like I'm hanging on to this relationship because if I didn't have him, I wouldn't have anyone. Sure, I get along with the people on my cheer team and people who I meet on campus, but they are just acquaintances and not friends. I have no idea why I have such a hard time making friends but I do. So for the most part, being in this serious relationship makes me happy because I know I have him in my life. But what if holding on to it is making things worse? I can't decide what is best for me and my friends and family have their own opinions. They are entitled to them. However, shouldn't it come down to what I want? I have mixed feelings because of what people say, the things that have happened, and what I feel. All I care about is being happy. So if Richard can't fulfill that, then I guess I should move on. But for the meantime, I'm happy so I really have no complaints. I am just so confused at this point. I used to know exactly what I want and how I would go about it to get it. Now things have changed and I feel like the flag in the middle of a tug-o-war rope; being pulled to one side and then the other. I just need to focus and really think about what it is that I want and put my foot down.

Now the hard part: taking my own advice....